Sunday, March 28, 2010
Fear
Within the next week or so we will most likely be turning off our internet and cable at home. It honest scares me a bit. We both purchased Droids so we have internet access on our phones, but there are limitations. The internet has really been my lifeline over the past 2 years. in some ways I have relied on it far too much! But...when you're a mom and are starved for adult conversation or a likeminded indevidual to vent to...it can be a real lifesaver!
I'm actually posting from my phone now. I downloaded a nice little app that makes it rather simple. Not sure how easy it will be to update my craft blog with photos from here, but I can always take my laptop somewhere with wi-fi.
In some ways I hope that perhaps this will help me be more productive. I spend far too much time online with my laptop! Half the time there isn't even anything to do online...I'm just killing time waiting for something worth doing to pop up. Now with this phone I think I will do my thing and then find something real and constructive to do with my time. Already I spent a good bit of time knitting...something I haven't done much of for quite awhile.
Plus with our upgraded plan I will be able to talk to most people for free which is a HUGE thing for me!
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Walking Away
I haven't been talking about it much, but we're basically walking away from this house purchase. The title search has been running for 2 weeks and still nothing...so unless we want to spend a lot of money with no guarantee of actually having a home, it's the end of the line. I was really upset about it. Obviously. But I'm moving on.
Our lease on our current apartment is up in August. We will definitely be moving then even if it's just to another apartment complex. I'm fine with that so long as the new place has a washer/dryer hookup. I'd also like something closer to the West End and on the ground floor or with a yard of some sort. I'd really like to rent a house...but I'm not sure if we can afford it.
We shall see.
Our lease on our current apartment is up in August. We will definitely be moving then even if it's just to another apartment complex. I'm fine with that so long as the new place has a washer/dryer hookup. I'd also like something closer to the West End and on the ground floor or with a yard of some sort. I'd really like to rent a house...but I'm not sure if we can afford it.
We shall see.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
A Day With Friends
I spent the day with an old friend this afternoon. We ran some errands first. I needed to purchase a mailer and then hit the Post Office. Afterward we headed to the West End for lunch and to play at the park. It was a beautiful day out! Nice and warm...and not so windy. Dani didn't need a coat at all which was nice. It was nice to have two people to keep an eye on one child. Nice to have someone to chat with too.
Dani napped in the car on the way home and my friend was sweet enough to sit with me in the parking lot while we waited for her to wake up. She ended up staying for dinner till Dani's bedtime. Dani warmed up to her well which was nice to see...sometimes she's so shy with new people. I think she gets it from her father.
Tomorrow my mother is coming to visit. Hopefully I'll get some time to myself to do some sewing. I need it.
Dani napped in the car on the way home and my friend was sweet enough to sit with me in the parking lot while we waited for her to wake up. She ended up staying for dinner till Dani's bedtime. Dani warmed up to her well which was nice to see...sometimes she's so shy with new people. I think she gets it from her father.
Tomorrow my mother is coming to visit. Hopefully I'll get some time to myself to do some sewing. I need it.
Getting Nowhere Fast
More house complications. We have requested that the seller's bank extend their deadline for closing. If they say yes, we're okay and will move forward with the repairs and other things. If not...we walk away. In some ways it's a letdown because I really don't think they will extend it. I feel like all this time is wasted and I hope that I can get the image of what that house could have been out of my mind. In other ways I feel good knowing that it will be over soon...one way or the other. Doesn't matter but so much. I just want to be finished.
If this falls through, which I feel that it will, we're going to start looking at apartments. I am feeling discouraged by it because I feel like nothing is in our price-range....but I'm clinging to the hope that we can find SOMETHING that will at least be better than here. I absolutely insist on a black that has a washer/dryer hookup and some sort of yard out back. I would really prefer something with a fenced in little square of yard behind it...but that might be too much to ask for. I would LOVE to be able to just open the back door and let Dani come and go as she pleases. I think she would enjoy that immensely. I also want room enough for a slide or a baby pool. Nothing huge...but still something she can enjoy. We'd also like a 3rd bedroom so I don't have to be crammed in so tight....Dani really needs a playroom of her own too. I'm not really ready to move her out of our room...but maybe sometime in the next year or so.
Besides that I just feel like I'm sitting here spinning my wheels. I'm not getting much done in any aspect of my life. I have been sewing, but that is slow going because I have a toddler that needs me. If I could let her in my sewing room I'd be fine...but that just causes problems. Dani is very insistent about playing with my machines. That's fine except I NEED TO USE THEM TOO. I also have a lot of stuff out that is dangerous. If I could get it cleaned up, maybe it could work...but we'll see.
Thankfully I do have a wonderful husband that helps as much as possible. He will amuse her while I disappears for an hour or two to get some work done.
Dani is awesome. Hard sometimes. But still awesome. She is babbling and singing constantly...it amazes me how much of a song she can sing! Sometimes it's not the actual words...but the sounds and timing are spot on. She's been able to sing things like "Goodbye! See you later!" which really surprised us both. She copies a LOT more than even a week ago. I knew the clinginess meant something good was coming down the pike! Sometimes it's really hard to be the type of parent I am now...but I think it's worth it. Instead of getting angry with her for needing me I'm trying to see it as a very necessary part of development...which it is. She's growing and changing. She needs mommy to be there more than ever. That's not to say I never get frustrated and want to pull my hair out...but I try to put on a happy face for her and deal with it on my own.
Thankfully my week is full to help keep my brain off of topics that will only depress me. Tomorrow I'm spending time with an old friend, Thursday my mother will be visiting for the day, and Friday I'll be heading over to a crunchy friend's house. Hopefully I'll find some time for sewing and cleaning in there somewhere!
If this falls through, which I feel that it will, we're going to start looking at apartments. I am feeling discouraged by it because I feel like nothing is in our price-range....but I'm clinging to the hope that we can find SOMETHING that will at least be better than here. I absolutely insist on a black that has a washer/dryer hookup and some sort of yard out back. I would really prefer something with a fenced in little square of yard behind it...but that might be too much to ask for. I would LOVE to be able to just open the back door and let Dani come and go as she pleases. I think she would enjoy that immensely. I also want room enough for a slide or a baby pool. Nothing huge...but still something she can enjoy. We'd also like a 3rd bedroom so I don't have to be crammed in so tight....Dani really needs a playroom of her own too. I'm not really ready to move her out of our room...but maybe sometime in the next year or so.
Besides that I just feel like I'm sitting here spinning my wheels. I'm not getting much done in any aspect of my life. I have been sewing, but that is slow going because I have a toddler that needs me. If I could let her in my sewing room I'd be fine...but that just causes problems. Dani is very insistent about playing with my machines. That's fine except I NEED TO USE THEM TOO. I also have a lot of stuff out that is dangerous. If I could get it cleaned up, maybe it could work...but we'll see.
Thankfully I do have a wonderful husband that helps as much as possible. He will amuse her while I disappears for an hour or two to get some work done.
Dani is awesome. Hard sometimes. But still awesome. She is babbling and singing constantly...it amazes me how much of a song she can sing! Sometimes it's not the actual words...but the sounds and timing are spot on. She's been able to sing things like "Goodbye! See you later!" which really surprised us both. She copies a LOT more than even a week ago. I knew the clinginess meant something good was coming down the pike! Sometimes it's really hard to be the type of parent I am now...but I think it's worth it. Instead of getting angry with her for needing me I'm trying to see it as a very necessary part of development...which it is. She's growing and changing. She needs mommy to be there more than ever. That's not to say I never get frustrated and want to pull my hair out...but I try to put on a happy face for her and deal with it on my own.
Thankfully my week is full to help keep my brain off of topics that will only depress me. Tomorrow I'm spending time with an old friend, Thursday my mother will be visiting for the day, and Friday I'll be heading over to a crunchy friend's house. Hopefully I'll find some time for sewing and cleaning in there somewhere!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Impatience
Impatience is one of the things I really struggle with as a parent and as a person. I'm impatient for things to change, things to improve, and my child to grow.
I'm impatient to move and start a new chapter of our lives. Our current living arrangements are suffocating me. I feel like I'm in my own personal prison. Leaving is a huge trial. Getting a young toddler downstairs along with all the luggage a mother requires is difficult to say the least. The space issue is a huge problem as well. We're crammed in here! I need a space of my own. Dani needs a room for her things. Aaron needs an office or at least a place to put his computer and work things. We need a kitchen that we can actually use without a lot of trouble. All these needs...and none of them look like they're going to be met anytime soon.
I'm impatient for Dani to be older, to do more. I'm impatient for her to give me a name and ask to nurse instead of tugging on my shirt. I'm impatient for her to be at a stage where we can do things. I want to do crafts. I want to play games. I want to go out and look at the world around us together. I want to be able to communicate. I love watching her do things and learn...but I'm still impatient for the next step. She's almost to 18-months which has always been a major milestone to me...but here we are and it's not what I expected.
I suppose it all comes down to my life feeling like a constant state of limbo. I can't do anything or change anything...there's always something we're waiting on. I can't even say how many times it's been said in my house that "oh we should wait on that because it may be pointless in case of _____." The potential move is a huge roadblock. Why move around our entire apartment and decorate if you're going to move in a month anyway? But the question is...are we really going to move at all? At this point I don't feel very confident about it, to be honest.
Also, on a much smaller level, I need to have more patience with things on a day-to-day basis. Yes, it is tedious to play repetitive toddler games...but it's what Dani needs. Yes, it sucks to make a meal only to have it thrown in the floor....but it's not the end of the world. Yes, it sucks to be lead around by the finger....but responding to your child is more important than sitting on your ass. Yes, the crying and the whining is like nails on a chalkboard to the ears of a mother....but freaking out or getting angry over it isn't going to help matters at all. These are things I need to remember. These are things I need to work on.
I am going to try.
I'm impatient to move and start a new chapter of our lives. Our current living arrangements are suffocating me. I feel like I'm in my own personal prison. Leaving is a huge trial. Getting a young toddler downstairs along with all the luggage a mother requires is difficult to say the least. The space issue is a huge problem as well. We're crammed in here! I need a space of my own. Dani needs a room for her things. Aaron needs an office or at least a place to put his computer and work things. We need a kitchen that we can actually use without a lot of trouble. All these needs...and none of them look like they're going to be met anytime soon.
I'm impatient for Dani to be older, to do more. I'm impatient for her to give me a name and ask to nurse instead of tugging on my shirt. I'm impatient for her to be at a stage where we can do things. I want to do crafts. I want to play games. I want to go out and look at the world around us together. I want to be able to communicate. I love watching her do things and learn...but I'm still impatient for the next step. She's almost to 18-months which has always been a major milestone to me...but here we are and it's not what I expected.
I suppose it all comes down to my life feeling like a constant state of limbo. I can't do anything or change anything...there's always something we're waiting on. I can't even say how many times it's been said in my house that "oh we should wait on that because it may be pointless in case of _____." The potential move is a huge roadblock. Why move around our entire apartment and decorate if you're going to move in a month anyway? But the question is...are we really going to move at all? At this point I don't feel very confident about it, to be honest.
Also, on a much smaller level, I need to have more patience with things on a day-to-day basis. Yes, it is tedious to play repetitive toddler games...but it's what Dani needs. Yes, it sucks to make a meal only to have it thrown in the floor....but it's not the end of the world. Yes, it sucks to be lead around by the finger....but responding to your child is more important than sitting on your ass. Yes, the crying and the whining is like nails on a chalkboard to the ears of a mother....but freaking out or getting angry over it isn't going to help matters at all. These are things I need to remember. These are things I need to work on.
I am going to try.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Complicated
The house situation is still a complicated mess. We're currently waiting for a quote from a contractor before we can proceed. Certain repairs need to be made BEFORE we purchase....it's completely ass-backward and I'm sick of it...but what can ya do? I'm over it. What happens, happens. Either way, we're getting out of this particular apartment by August. That's the important part.
We may be looking at apartments and/or townhomes soon. My requirements are that it has some sort of yard access, is on the bottom level, and has a washer/dryer IN THE UNIT. I refuse to lug laundry anymore! I went to get back to cloth diapering. I want my cloth kitchen wipes instead of paper towels...I want family cloth to go along with toilet paper...I want to be able to wash my sheets on a regular basis!!! This for-pay machine deal is for the bird...it's next to impossible to have enough quarters when you need to do laundry. Plus it's expensive. Lately I've been dragging regular loads of laundry to my aunt's instead of diapers. I have plenty of clothes IF I could wash...but with as long as we're going between loads, it's so hard to have anything decent to wear! Thankfully I have MASSIVE amounts of baby clothes. I run out of stuff I like for Dani to wear, but never truly run out of clothing for her.
I also want to be able to take Dani outside. Having a rough day? Outside fixes it! I also want to be in the West End where we'll be close to Deep Run Park and the new CMOR location that opens in June. Plus we do our shopping at places like Trader Joe's...which is only in the West End. Where we are now, there's nowhere outside to go, there's no decent parks close by, and we're not too far from CMOR....but I really think we'll enjoy the new location more. I read some stuff about it last night and apparently it's supposed to be storybook themed...stuff like pirate ships, trains, castles, etc. I'm excited! And being in the West End...plus being new...you know it will be NICE. Word is it may be members only...but that's cool with me.
Besides all the moving junk...I'm trying to get more sewing time in. I have a massive to-do list that has been hanging over me for weeks. Now I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it's making me feel a little better about myself. Goodness knows I need to...
We may be looking at apartments and/or townhomes soon. My requirements are that it has some sort of yard access, is on the bottom level, and has a washer/dryer IN THE UNIT. I refuse to lug laundry anymore! I went to get back to cloth diapering. I want my cloth kitchen wipes instead of paper towels...I want family cloth to go along with toilet paper...I want to be able to wash my sheets on a regular basis!!! This for-pay machine deal is for the bird...it's next to impossible to have enough quarters when you need to do laundry. Plus it's expensive. Lately I've been dragging regular loads of laundry to my aunt's instead of diapers. I have plenty of clothes IF I could wash...but with as long as we're going between loads, it's so hard to have anything decent to wear! Thankfully I have MASSIVE amounts of baby clothes. I run out of stuff I like for Dani to wear, but never truly run out of clothing for her.
I also want to be able to take Dani outside. Having a rough day? Outside fixes it! I also want to be in the West End where we'll be close to Deep Run Park and the new CMOR location that opens in June. Plus we do our shopping at places like Trader Joe's...which is only in the West End. Where we are now, there's nowhere outside to go, there's no decent parks close by, and we're not too far from CMOR....but I really think we'll enjoy the new location more. I read some stuff about it last night and apparently it's supposed to be storybook themed...stuff like pirate ships, trains, castles, etc. I'm excited! And being in the West End...plus being new...you know it will be NICE. Word is it may be members only...but that's cool with me.
Besides all the moving junk...I'm trying to get more sewing time in. I have a massive to-do list that has been hanging over me for weeks. Now I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it's making me feel a little better about myself. Goodness knows I need to...
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
The House Saga Explained
At least weekly someone asks me "so how are things going with the house?"....and I usually laugh and roll my eyes. Here's why:
We originally looked at this house in July of 2009. It was was a pre-forclosure listed for $99K....which is amazingly cheap in this market. I ran out to look at it immediately and then Aaron and I both took another look the following weekend. We put in an offer on it for something like $90K and the seller accepted....and then we just needed her bank to approve it too being as it was a "short sale" situation. By the way, "short sale" does not refer to the amount of time it takes....it refers to being short on money. The seller owed money on her house and the bank didn't want to majorly lose out on this deal.
So...that was the first wait. I think that took about a month or so...it's hard to remember now. Finally we had an answer from the bank and a counter offer. They wanted $110K. We accepted that...but then it turns out that the seller was working with another part of the bank while we were waiting for the approval and managed to renegotiate her mortgage...and she didn't want to move out. Crap. We were screwed in this situation. All we could do was file our contract with the state and if she went to sell it again, she'd have to sell it to us.....BUT that would be null and void if the bank foreclosed on her in the end. Being as filing the contract would cost us upwards of $300 and was still not guarantee....we just started looking at other houses.
At that point, the first-time buyer tax credit worth $8000 was good through November 30th of '09 so we had a little bit more time to find another place. Pretty much, without the credit, we couldn't afford to break out lease and buy...so time was of the essence. Middle of September we found another foreclosure that was at the top of our price range that we put an offer on. It was turned down. I was pretty bummed because I thought this was the end of the line for us moving.
A few days after Dani's first birthday we got the news that the seller of the first house had missed her first renegotiated loan payment and wanted to know if we still wanted to buy. This was the end of September/beginning of November. We tried to rush to get things going because the deadline for the tax credit was looming....and eventually we gave up on getting the credit at all. We were moving ahead anyway because we were desperate to move. Thankfully, they ended up extending the credit till Spring anyway, so we felt like things were looking up.
Well....then came months and months of waiting. Nothing happened during the holidays because apparently bank employees just sit around with their thumbs up their asses for all of December. Ugh. About a month ago we FINALLY got the news....that they had turned our offer down. For some reason the $110 they wanted before wasn't enough....and they were now under the impression that this house was worth $170!!! BULLSHIT. If anyone has ever bothered to look at this place they would know it wasn't worth that. 1400sq. feet of nice and 1400sq. feet of shit are two entirely different things....so we reoffered, this time for $114K just so see what happened. Mind you, this house has had at least 4 or 5 assessments done....yet nobody seems to be able to figure out how much it's worth! We also looked at another house that was really nice...but tiny during this wait.
We arranged to look at the first house again because at this point we've all but forgotten what the place was like on the inside. The old owner is FINALLY out so we could really give it a good once over and take photos...although she left a lot of crap in it. Who knows if she'll be back for it or not. A few weeks went by and we didn't hear anything....so we just kinda pushed it aside.
Yesterday I drove by on the way to Amanda's. I thought to myself "I really need to look at some other houses....I'll get on that later". When I got to Amanda's she asked me at some point "so what's going on with the house?" and I shrugged. "Nothing. Unless you hear different, assume nothing is happening". An hour later I get a call that our offer was approved! WTF?!
So now? Well....I'm going to have an inspection done to see if we even want the place....and they're talking about us closing on April 1st. Holy shit! I'm not sure about it all yet...I really want to make sure it's livable first...plus we have to bang out things with our asshole landlord to see about breaking our lease...
And that's all I know so far.
We originally looked at this house in July of 2009. It was was a pre-forclosure listed for $99K....which is amazingly cheap in this market. I ran out to look at it immediately and then Aaron and I both took another look the following weekend. We put in an offer on it for something like $90K and the seller accepted....and then we just needed her bank to approve it too being as it was a "short sale" situation. By the way, "short sale" does not refer to the amount of time it takes....it refers to being short on money. The seller owed money on her house and the bank didn't want to majorly lose out on this deal.
So...that was the first wait. I think that took about a month or so...it's hard to remember now. Finally we had an answer from the bank and a counter offer. They wanted $110K. We accepted that...but then it turns out that the seller was working with another part of the bank while we were waiting for the approval and managed to renegotiate her mortgage...and she didn't want to move out. Crap. We were screwed in this situation. All we could do was file our contract with the state and if she went to sell it again, she'd have to sell it to us.....BUT that would be null and void if the bank foreclosed on her in the end. Being as filing the contract would cost us upwards of $300 and was still not guarantee....we just started looking at other houses.
At that point, the first-time buyer tax credit worth $8000 was good through November 30th of '09 so we had a little bit more time to find another place. Pretty much, without the credit, we couldn't afford to break out lease and buy...so time was of the essence. Middle of September we found another foreclosure that was at the top of our price range that we put an offer on. It was turned down. I was pretty bummed because I thought this was the end of the line for us moving.
A few days after Dani's first birthday we got the news that the seller of the first house had missed her first renegotiated loan payment and wanted to know if we still wanted to buy. This was the end of September/beginning of November. We tried to rush to get things going because the deadline for the tax credit was looming....and eventually we gave up on getting the credit at all. We were moving ahead anyway because we were desperate to move. Thankfully, they ended up extending the credit till Spring anyway, so we felt like things were looking up.
Well....then came months and months of waiting. Nothing happened during the holidays because apparently bank employees just sit around with their thumbs up their asses for all of December. Ugh. About a month ago we FINALLY got the news....that they had turned our offer down. For some reason the $110 they wanted before wasn't enough....and they were now under the impression that this house was worth $170!!! BULLSHIT. If anyone has ever bothered to look at this place they would know it wasn't worth that. 1400sq. feet of nice and 1400sq. feet of shit are two entirely different things....so we reoffered, this time for $114K just so see what happened. Mind you, this house has had at least 4 or 5 assessments done....yet nobody seems to be able to figure out how much it's worth! We also looked at another house that was really nice...but tiny during this wait.
We arranged to look at the first house again because at this point we've all but forgotten what the place was like on the inside. The old owner is FINALLY out so we could really give it a good once over and take photos...although she left a lot of crap in it. Who knows if she'll be back for it or not. A few weeks went by and we didn't hear anything....so we just kinda pushed it aside.
Yesterday I drove by on the way to Amanda's. I thought to myself "I really need to look at some other houses....I'll get on that later". When I got to Amanda's she asked me at some point "so what's going on with the house?" and I shrugged. "Nothing. Unless you hear different, assume nothing is happening". An hour later I get a call that our offer was approved! WTF?!
So now? Well....I'm going to have an inspection done to see if we even want the place....and they're talking about us closing on April 1st. Holy shit! I'm not sure about it all yet...I really want to make sure it's livable first...plus we have to bang out things with our asshole landlord to see about breaking our lease...
And that's all I know so far.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The Clinging Continues...
I spent the day at my friend Amanda's house. It's about a 45 minute drive right now, once we move it will only be like 10 though....anyway, I get there and I don't see her car. I'm thinking "fuck....did she forget I was coming?" Call her cell, called her house...no answer. Uh oh. Thankfully....their door is rarely locked out in the boonies! I let myself in, and lo and behold, they are there! Her husband had taken her car that day. I was relieved!
The kids played, her daughter Ella is a month younger than Dani. We took them outside to play on the new toddler slide.
Dani loves slides. <3 She always goes down them on her belly.
Before we headed home we also made these AWESOME oatmeal raisin cookies. YUM!!! The recipe is here.
Some stuff happened with the potential move too....but it's kinda weird so I'll speak on that later.
The kids played, her daughter Ella is a month younger than Dani. We took them outside to play on the new toddler slide.
Dani loves slides. <3 She always goes down them on her belly.
Before we headed home we also made these AWESOME oatmeal raisin cookies. YUM!!! The recipe is here.
Some stuff happened with the potential move too....but it's kinda weird so I'll speak on that later.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Weekend at CMOR
This weekend Aaron and I took Dani to the Children's Museum of Richmond for about an hour. We signed up for a year's membership while we were there which will save us quite a bit of money! Seriously...$8 per person is a bit steep for us to go there much. For the 3 of us to go it would be $24! Ugh!
Dani had fun of course though she was a bit tired and it was PACKED. Lots of birthday groups on a Saturday. I think Dani was a bit overwhelmed with all the people...and it was also difficult for her to get to the stuff she wanted to do like sitting in the driver seat of the ambulance. She's into steering wheels at the moment.
We have plans to go again tomorrow with friends and hopefully it won't be so busy. The weather is supposed to be gorgeous as well which would be a nice improvement from this cold windy stuff we've had for awhile now. We need some sunshine and the resulting vitamin D!!! I'm ready for spring! I think Dani is too. She is constantly wanting to go somewhere...she is always bringing me "shooz" (both mine and hers) and practically dragging me out the door! She also packs her own bag of toys so we can leave. ^_^
Dani had fun of course though she was a bit tired and it was PACKED. Lots of birthday groups on a Saturday. I think Dani was a bit overwhelmed with all the people...and it was also difficult for her to get to the stuff she wanted to do like sitting in the driver seat of the ambulance. She's into steering wheels at the moment.
We have plans to go again tomorrow with friends and hopefully it won't be so busy. The weather is supposed to be gorgeous as well which would be a nice improvement from this cold windy stuff we've had for awhile now. We need some sunshine and the resulting vitamin D!!! I'm ready for spring! I think Dani is too. She is constantly wanting to go somewhere...she is always bringing me "shooz" (both mine and hers) and practically dragging me out the door! She also packs her own bag of toys so we can leave. ^_^